JakePorter03: a Theist Behaving Badly

I had a really nice Twitter conversation, with a young Christian(TM)(R) named Jake Porter (Tiwtter handle: @jakeporter03), last Saturday, early Sunday.

The conversation began when I responded to a question another young Christian(TM)(R) gentleman, @mixedkid_, had about atheism. My answer prompted a clever, and very Christian response from young Jake and started our conversation:

@jakeporter03 a Real Christian(TM)(R)

Of course the conversation gets even better. Some time later, our true Christian, or as I like to call him, Princess, decides to up the ante a little bit. Supposing that making idle threats over Twitter wasn't "manly" enough, he says:

heh, "pussey"... BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

er.. sorry, back to the narrative...

Anyway,  I get a couple of calls on my phone. Jake bravely chose to hide his phone number, and since it was past midnight here, I chose, at first, to decline his first two attempts at calling me... his third I let through to voice mail:

http://danzisoft.ca/files/jakeporter03.mp3

Here's the transcript with my commentary:

Telephone Lady: You have one saved message.

 @jakeporter03: Hey, listen here, you mother fucker. I don't know if this is the right Rich Nistuk or not...

 Why yes! Yes it is, princess. Good for you!

@jakeporter03: But if this is the Rich Nistuk on Twitter,  talkin' shit...

Yup. Well, technically, I was typing, but ok...

@jakeporter03: Listen here, you mother fucker...

You seem to say that a lot, princess...

 @jakeporter03: you can meet up with me anywhere you want...

Oh, ok. Vancouver, BC, Canada. The coffee shop in the Convention Centre. OK? Great!

@jakeporter03: and I'll beat the fuckin' shit outta you.

Re-he-he-he-aly, now.. OK, that sounds *very* Christian(TM)(R) of you!

 @jakeporter03: Now if this is the right one, if you're not the one on Twitter tonight, talking' shit.. disregard this message...

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! So very polite!

@jakeporter03: this is the number I got from the profile

and here I thought you were a l337 h4xor...

@jakeporter03: So 'all I got to say, I'ma tell you one time, you fuckin' fat ass ugly piece of shit 

Ooooh! Just like the sweet baby Jesus would say!!! Anyway, you've said this a few times.

@jakeporter03: You keep talking shit and you're gonna find yourself in a heap of god-damn trouble...

Oh, ok, princess... You get your little feelings hurt? Awwww.... See you at the coffee shop!

@jakeporter03: you don't know who you're fuckin' with, bitch

Sure I do; you're a pitiful twelve year old with anger management problems and delusions of grandeur... Right?

@jakeporter03: Huh?

Sigh.. OK, one more time: Sure I do; you're a pitiful twelve year old with anger management problems and delusions of grandeur... Right?

@jakeporter03: Atheist ass mother fucker..

Ah! Quoting Jesus I see. I believe that's from #JakeIsADouche 1:23...

@jakeporter03: Go choke on a cock, ya dick-face and die and go to hell. Rot, you fuckin' bitch, and then you'll fuckin' believe, THEN YOU'LL FUCKIN' BELIEVE!! 

Nice, building up to a good crescendo here...

@jakeporter03: WHEN YOU'RE BURNIN' IN THE FLAME

The last bit was really great, he says it with such glee! Extremely Christian!

More to come...