Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Stupid Thoughts

I needed to escape from the family circus that had convened at my dad's place. So I grabbed my uncle and said, "let's take Rubi off-road." He, of course, thought that was a great idea, he navigated us to a spot, east of Kelowna where he used to 4x4 a few years back...

It turned out to be near an old Kettle Valley Railway Tressel. My uncle told me about the history of KVR and explained how it needed to be level for the trains and that the early settlers of the Okanagan area had to bring their horses and wagons up steep and treacherous mountain trails to bring goods to and from the train stations. Rubi had no problem whatsoever...

We chatted. Joked, laughed.. We talked about what I was doing for work, how dad was going to cope with things, our sailing adventures, how we need to go sailing together... We thanked each other for what we had done over the past few months, and explained to each other we were just doing "the right thing"... Still, we told each other "you've been a rock, and I thank you.."

Then, the mutual silence. It had happened a lot during the past few days.. We would be driving, for example, dad, uncle, brother and I, chatting, laughing, joking... And then we'd stop. Silence. Once I'd been able to break the silence - "Dad, I don't think you need to drive by the hospital again for a while.." he agreed and we had all been able to pick up the discussion again, almost as though it had never stopped...

This time, I had a thought. "You know... I just had a really stupid thought." my uncle may have said something, in keeping with his sense of humour, something like "it happens", but cleverer.

I continued "in our family, husbands don't lose their wives, sons don't lose their moms, brothers and sisters don't lose their sisters, it just doesn't fucking happen to us."

"I think it does."

"I know..." suddenly realizing that my uncle and my mom and their family had lost their parents about thirty-five years ago, not to mention, my cousin, about ten years ago. "...I think we should get back"

"Yeah, your dad's probably worried about us..."

"or waiting to go to Tim Hortons'... again."