Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Naughty Christian @jakeporter03 Gets More Attention

Since the Christian(TM)(R) princess @jakeporter03 left me a voice message very bravely chastising me for talking shit about him on Twitter, I have, by continuing to "talk shit" about him on Twitter, been able to garner him a little more of the attention he so desperately requires.

First he got a nice mention in the article Behold the Christian Love of @JakePorter03!,  on Alex Botten's very popular blog, an atheist viewpoint: thoughts from a non-theist. Alex is well known on twitter by the handle @theealex and participates in a great podcast called Fundamentally Flawed.

And then, Andrew Skegg, @askegg on twitter, and Ollie, @cynskeptical on twitter, started the 45th episode of the Godless Business podcast, Suffer in your jocks, with the lovely voice mail that @jakeporter03 left me! Make sure to visit the Godless Business website for more great atheist content.

I wonder if princess jake will extend is good christian threats to them as well?






Monday, February 13, 2012

JakePorter03: a Theist Behaving Badly

I had a really nice Twitter conversation, with a young Christian(TM)(R) named Jake Porter (Tiwtter handle: @jakeporter03), last Saturday, early Sunday.

The conversation began when I responded to a question another young Christian(TM)(R) gentleman, @mixedkid_, had about atheism. My answer prompted a clever, and very Christian response from young Jake and started our conversation:

@jakeporter03 a Real Christian(TM)(R)


Of course the conversation gets even better. Some time later, our true Christian, or as I like to call him, Princess, decides to up the ante a little bit. Supposing that making idle threats over Twitter wasn't "manly" enough, he says:


heh, "pussey"... BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

er.. sorry, back to the narrative...

Anyway,  I get a couple of calls on my phone. Jake bravely chose to hide his phone number, and since it was past midnight here, I chose, at first, to decline his first two attempts at calling me... his third I let through to voice mail:


Here's the transcript with my commentary:

Telephone Lady: You have one saved message.
 @jakeporter03: Hey, listen here, you mother fucker. I don't know if this is the right Rich Nistuk or not...
 Why yes! Yes it is, princess. Good for you!

@jakeporter03: But if this is the Rich Nistuk on Twitter,  talkin' shit...
Yup. Well, technically, I was typing, but ok...

@jakeporter03: Listen here, you mother fucker...
You seem to say that a lot, princess...
 @jakeporter03: you can meet up with me anywhere you want...
Oh, ok. Vancouver, BC, Canada. The coffee shop in the Convention Centre. OK? Great!
@jakeporter03: and I'll beat the fuckin' shit outta you.
Re-he-he-he-aly, now.. OK, that sounds *very* Christian(TM)(R) of you!
 @jakeporter03: Now if this is the right one, if you're not the one on Twitter tonight, talking' shit.. disregard this message...
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! So very polite!
@jakeporter03: this is the number I got from the profile
and here I thought you were a l337 h4xor...
@jakeporter03: So 'all I got to say, I'ma tell you one time, you fuckin' fat ass ugly piece of shit 
Ooooh! Just like the sweet baby Jesus would say!!! Anyway, you've said this a few times.
@jakeporter03: You keep talking shit and you're gonna find yourself in a heap of god-damn trouble...
Oh, ok, princess... You get your little feelings hurt? Awwww.... See you at the coffee shop!
@jakeporter03: you don't know who you're fuckin' with, bitch
Sure I do; you're a pitiful twelve year old with anger management problems and delusions of grandeur... Right?
@jakeporter03: Huh?
Sigh.. OK, one more time: Sure I do; you're a pitiful twelve year old with anger management problems and delusions of grandeur... Right?
@jakeporter03: Atheist ass mother fucker..
Ah! Quoting Jesus I see. I believe that's from #JakeIsADouche 1:23...
@jakeporter03: Go choke on a cock, ya dick-face and die and go to hell. Rot, you fuckin' bitch, and then you'll fuckin' believe, THEN YOU'LL FUCKIN' BELIEVE!! 
Nice, building up to a good crescendo here...
@jakeporter03: WHEN YOU'RE BURNIN' IN THE FLAME

The last bit was really great, he says it with such glee! Extremely Christian!

More to come...