Since the Christian(TM)(R) princess @jakeporter03 left me a voice message very bravely chastising me for talking shit about him on Twitter, I have, by continuing to "talk shit" about him on Twitter, been able to garner him a little more of the attention he so desperately requires.
First he got a nice mention in the article Behold the Christian Love of @JakePorter03!, on Alex Botten's very popular blog, an atheist viewpoint: thoughts from a non-theist. Alex is well known on twitter by the handle @theealex and participates in a great podcast called Fundamentally Flawed.
And then, Andrew Skegg, @askegg on twitter, and Ollie, @cynskeptical on twitter, started the 45th episode of the Godless Business podcast, Suffer in your jocks, with the lovely voice mail that @jakeporter03 left me! Make sure to visit the Godless Business website for more great atheist content.
I wonder if princess jake will extend is good christian threats to them as well?
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
JakePorter03: a Theist Behaving Badly
I had a really nice Twitter conversation, with a young Christian(TM)(R) named Jake Porter (Tiwtter handle: @jakeporter03), last Saturday, early Sunday.
The conversation began when I responded to a question another young Christian(TM)(R) gentleman, @mixedkid_, had about atheism. My answer prompted a clever, and very Christian response from young Jake and started our conversation:
Of course the conversation gets even better. Some time later, our true Christian, or as I like to call him, Princess, decides to up the ante a little bit. Supposing that making idle threats over Twitter wasn't "manly" enough, he says:
heh, "pussey"... BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
er.. sorry, back to the narrative...
Anyway, I get a couple of calls on my phone. Jake bravely chose to hide his phone number, and since it was past midnight here, I chose, at first, to decline his first two attempts at calling me... his third I let through to voice mail:
Here's the transcript with my commentary:
The last bit was really great, he says it with such glee! Extremely Christian!
More to come...
The conversation began when I responded to a question another young Christian(TM)(R) gentleman, @mixedkid_, had about atheism. My answer prompted a clever, and very Christian response from young Jake and started our conversation:
 |
| @jakeporter03 a Real Christian(TM)(R) |
heh, "pussey"... BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
er.. sorry, back to the narrative...
Anyway, I get a couple of calls on my phone. Jake bravely chose to hide his phone number, and since it was past midnight here, I chose, at first, to decline his first two attempts at calling me... his third I let through to voice mail:
Here's the transcript with my commentary:
Telephone Lady: You have one saved message.
@jakeporter03: Hey, listen here, you mother fucker. I don't know if this is the right Rich Nistuk or not...Why yes! Yes it is, princess. Good for you!
@jakeporter03: But if this is the Rich Nistuk on Twitter, talkin' shit...Yup. Well, technically, I was typing, but ok...
@jakeporter03: Listen here, you mother fucker...You seem to say that a lot, princess...
@jakeporter03: you can meet up with me anywhere you want...Oh, ok. Vancouver, BC, Canada. The coffee shop in the Convention Centre. OK? Great!
@jakeporter03: and I'll beat the fuckin' shit outta you.Re-he-he-he-aly, now.. OK, that sounds *very* Christian(TM)(R) of you!
@jakeporter03: Now if this is the right one, if you're not the one on Twitter tonight, talking' shit.. disregard this message...BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! So very polite!
@jakeporter03: this is the number I got from the profileand here I thought you were a l337 h4xor...
@jakeporter03: So 'all I got to say, I'ma tell you one time, you fuckin' fat ass ugly piece of shitOoooh! Just like the sweet baby Jesus would say!!! Anyway, you've said this a few times.
@jakeporter03: You keep talking shit and you're gonna find yourself in a heap of god-damn trouble...Oh, ok, princess... You get your little feelings hurt? Awwww.... See you at the coffee shop!
@jakeporter03: you don't know who you're fuckin' with, bitchSure I do; you're a pitiful twelve year old with anger management problems and delusions of grandeur... Right?
@jakeporter03: Huh?Sigh.. OK, one more time: Sure I do; you're a pitiful twelve year old with anger management problems and delusions of grandeur... Right?
@jakeporter03:Ah! Quoting Jesus I see. I believe that's from #JakeIsADouche 1:23...Atheist ass mother fucker..
@jakeporter03: Go choke on a cock, ya dick-face and die and go to hell. Rot, you fuckin' bitch, and then you'll fuckin' believe, THEN YOU'LL FUCKIN' BELIEVE!!Nice, building up to a good crescendo here...
@jakeporter03:WHEN YOU'RE BURNIN' IN THE FLAME
The last bit was really great, he says it with such glee! Extremely Christian!
More to come...
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Stupid Thoughts
I needed to escape from the family circus that had convened at my dad's place. So I grabbed my uncle and said, "let's take Rubi off-road." He, of course, thought that was a great idea, he navigated us to a spot, east of Kelowna where he used to 4x4 a few years back...
It turned out to be near an old Kettle Valley Railway Tressel. My uncle told me about the history of KVR and explained how it needed to be level for the trains and that the early settlers of the Okanagan area had to bring their horses and wagons up steep and treacherous mountain trails to bring goods to and from the train stations. Rubi had no problem whatsoever...
We chatted. Joked, laughed.. We talked about what I was doing for work, how dad was going to cope with things, our sailing adventures, how we need to go sailing together... We thanked each other for what we had done over the past few months, and explained to each other we were just doing "the right thing"... Still, we told each other "you've been a rock, and I thank you.."
Then, the mutual silence. It had happened a lot during the past few days.. We would be driving, for example, dad, uncle, brother and I, chatting, laughing, joking... And then we'd stop. Silence. Once I'd been able to break the silence - "Dad, I don't think you need to drive by the hospital again for a while.." he agreed and we had all been able to pick up the discussion again, almost as though it had never stopped...
This time, I had a thought. "You know... I just had a really stupid thought." my uncle may have said something, in keeping with his sense of humour, something like "it happens", but cleverer.
I continued "in our family, husbands don't lose their wives, sons don't lose their moms, brothers and sisters don't lose their sisters, it just doesn't fucking happen to us."
"I think it does."
"I know..." suddenly realizing that my uncle and my mom and their family had lost their parents about thirty-five years ago, not to mention, my cousin, about ten years ago. "...I think we should get back"
"Yeah, your dad's probably worried about us..."
"or waiting to go to Tim Hortons'... again."
It turned out to be near an old Kettle Valley Railway Tressel. My uncle told me about the history of KVR and explained how it needed to be level for the trains and that the early settlers of the Okanagan area had to bring their horses and wagons up steep and treacherous mountain trails to bring goods to and from the train stations. Rubi had no problem whatsoever...
We chatted. Joked, laughed.. We talked about what I was doing for work, how dad was going to cope with things, our sailing adventures, how we need to go sailing together... We thanked each other for what we had done over the past few months, and explained to each other we were just doing "the right thing"... Still, we told each other "you've been a rock, and I thank you.."
Then, the mutual silence. It had happened a lot during the past few days.. We would be driving, for example, dad, uncle, brother and I, chatting, laughing, joking... And then we'd stop. Silence. Once I'd been able to break the silence - "Dad, I don't think you need to drive by the hospital again for a while.." he agreed and we had all been able to pick up the discussion again, almost as though it had never stopped...
This time, I had a thought. "You know... I just had a really stupid thought." my uncle may have said something, in keeping with his sense of humour, something like "it happens", but cleverer.
I continued "in our family, husbands don't lose their wives, sons don't lose their moms, brothers and sisters don't lose their sisters, it just doesn't fucking happen to us."
"I think it does."
"I know..." suddenly realizing that my uncle and my mom and their family had lost their parents about thirty-five years ago, not to mention, my cousin, about ten years ago. "...I think we should get back"
"Yeah, your dad's probably worried about us..."
"or waiting to go to Tim Hortons'... again."
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Richs' Seventh Rule of Work:Don't Spend Your "Fuck You" Fund on a Shiny New Jeep
Gather round young workers, bright eyed newcomers to the exciting world of gainful employment. Listen. Listen to my tale of woe and, yes, stupidity.
Hearken back to yesteryear, February 2007, to be precise. My most valued possession, and, hence, possessor, namely my 1991 Jeep YJ (project jeep zebra), was nearing the end of its usefulness. It was costing me $600 in repairs a month, and I was unconvinced that it could survive many more off road miles.
I required a new Jeep product. I required this to truly live.
Oh yes. So, I did my due diligence. I researched the latest in the YJ successor, the JK. I found the direct replacement. No frills. A simple Jeep JK Wrangler.
This was my plan: I would drive my old red YJ into the Jeep dealership, walk straight to the red Jeep JK Wrangler and say to the nearest sales person "I am mildly interested in this vehicle. Perhaps we could discuss the terms of a trade in of my fine red YJ, which is in nearly pristine condition. You will give me $5000 for it in trade for this vehicle."
This is what happened: I drove my old red YJ into the Jeep dealership and as I was stepping out of it a salesperson ran up to me with the keys to a black 2007 Jeep JK Rubicon and said "Let's go for a test drive!"
Scant minutes later, I found myself the proud owner of a black Jeep JK Rubicon (her name is Rubi) that cost twice as much as the Jeep I planned to buy. And to add insult to injury, I was given $900 for the old red YJ, apparently I was lucky they wouldn't charge me for turning it into a cube. But, I was able to keep my payments quite low, almost as low as what I had planned to pay for the Wrangler I wanted!
How, you ask? Well, I remembered that I, in keeping with Richs' rule of work #4, I had a sizable "Fuck You" fund built up as a result of many years of well paying jobs, scrimping and saving.
I reasoned that by using my "Fuck You" fund as a down payment, the monthly payments were about what I was paying to keep the YJ repaired every month, and the price of gas was only 95 cents a litre! So what if the Rubicon didn't exactly sip the gas. Additionally, I loved my job, and work was going quite well. We had not missed a paycheque in months!
Oh, how I loved my brand new Rubicon. I was the centre of attention for quite a while. Envious men would hand shopping carts to their wives at Safeway and wander over to ask questions about the jeep. Women were impressed by its, well, impressiveness. Off-road it was like no other vehicle, it put my poor old YJ to shame. In fact, I no longer even admitted that I had ever owned a YJ.
My first inkling of the error in judgement I had made occurred when I told my accountant about my purchase: "A Rubicon!", he exclaimed, "COOL! And stupid!" I laughed off his mockery.
The price of gas rose.
At work, we missed a paycheque. Then two, then four, then they became completely optional. At the time of my layoff I was owed 17 paycheques, a LOT of bonus, a plane ticket to India, and severance pay.
Thus, Rich's Seventh Rule of Work: Don't spend your "Fuck You" fund on a new Jeep.
Hearken back to yesteryear, February 2007, to be precise. My most valued possession, and, hence, possessor, namely my 1991 Jeep YJ (project jeep zebra), was nearing the end of its usefulness. It was costing me $600 in repairs a month, and I was unconvinced that it could survive many more off road miles.
I required a new Jeep product. I required this to truly live.
Oh yes. So, I did my due diligence. I researched the latest in the YJ successor, the JK. I found the direct replacement. No frills. A simple Jeep JK Wrangler.
This was my plan: I would drive my old red YJ into the Jeep dealership, walk straight to the red Jeep JK Wrangler and say to the nearest sales person "I am mildly interested in this vehicle. Perhaps we could discuss the terms of a trade in of my fine red YJ, which is in nearly pristine condition. You will give me $5000 for it in trade for this vehicle."
This is what happened: I drove my old red YJ into the Jeep dealership and as I was stepping out of it a salesperson ran up to me with the keys to a black 2007 Jeep JK Rubicon and said "Let's go for a test drive!"
Scant minutes later, I found myself the proud owner of a black Jeep JK Rubicon (her name is Rubi) that cost twice as much as the Jeep I planned to buy. And to add insult to injury, I was given $900 for the old red YJ, apparently I was lucky they wouldn't charge me for turning it into a cube. But, I was able to keep my payments quite low, almost as low as what I had planned to pay for the Wrangler I wanted!
How, you ask? Well, I remembered that I, in keeping with Richs' rule of work #4, I had a sizable "Fuck You" fund built up as a result of many years of well paying jobs, scrimping and saving.
I reasoned that by using my "Fuck You" fund as a down payment, the monthly payments were about what I was paying to keep the YJ repaired every month, and the price of gas was only 95 cents a litre! So what if the Rubicon didn't exactly sip the gas. Additionally, I loved my job, and work was going quite well. We had not missed a paycheque in months!
Oh, how I loved my brand new Rubicon. I was the centre of attention for quite a while. Envious men would hand shopping carts to their wives at Safeway and wander over to ask questions about the jeep. Women were impressed by its, well, impressiveness. Off-road it was like no other vehicle, it put my poor old YJ to shame. In fact, I no longer even admitted that I had ever owned a YJ.
My first inkling of the error in judgement I had made occurred when I told my accountant about my purchase: "A Rubicon!", he exclaimed, "COOL! And stupid!" I laughed off his mockery.
The price of gas rose.
At work, we missed a paycheque. Then two, then four, then they became completely optional. At the time of my layoff I was owed 17 paycheques, a LOT of bonus, a plane ticket to India, and severance pay.
Thus, Rich's Seventh Rule of Work: Don't spend your "Fuck You" fund on a new Jeep.
What to do with the Religion Sized Hole in Your Life when You Become an Atheist...
A few weeks ago I was listening to Joe and Brother Richard on the Atheist News podcast where they asked what should your religion be replaced with when you become an atheist? The implication being that there would be a religion sized hole remaining.
I instantly remembered paying off my student loans. Many, many years ago I had worked hard, paid off my student loans early and was faced with the problem of what to do with the extra money.
At the time, I though that it would be a good idea to invest that money in booze. My girlfriend and I planned use that money to investigate the entire booze spectrum. For some reason we started at Vodka.
I never really got off the Vodka part of the booze spectrum: there are a lot of brands of vodka out there! We soon realized that the, now freed up, loan payment bought a lot of booze, probably more than we could safely drink. We found other things to buy, and started an investment plan.
So, now if you ask me what you should do with the religion sized hole you are left with when you become an atheist, I will ask you "What will you do with the loan payments you were making to the debt that is paid off?"
I instantly remembered paying off my student loans. Many, many years ago I had worked hard, paid off my student loans early and was faced with the problem of what to do with the extra money.
At the time, I though that it would be a good idea to invest that money in booze. My girlfriend and I planned use that money to investigate the entire booze spectrum. For some reason we started at Vodka.
I never really got off the Vodka part of the booze spectrum: there are a lot of brands of vodka out there! We soon realized that the, now freed up, loan payment bought a lot of booze, probably more than we could safely drink. We found other things to buy, and started an investment plan.
So, now if you ask me what you should do with the religion sized hole you are left with when you become an atheist, I will ask you "What will you do with the loan payments you were making to the debt that is paid off?"
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Introduction
Hello my Blogosphere Friends!
My name is Rich. And yes, I'm very very wealthy!
Ok, not so wealthy. But moreso than 99% of the worlds population.
I'm a sailor, software developer, off roader, atheist, humanist, physicist (former) and other stuff.
This blog will allow me to talk to you about all of the stuff I think is cool. This might include cross platform software development, artificial intelligence, cookies, kittens, atheism, learning new things, stuff I make up... All sorts of stuff.
You can learn more about me at www.danzisoft.ca
My name is Rich. And yes, I'm very very wealthy!
Ok, not so wealthy. But moreso than 99% of the worlds population.
I'm a sailor, software developer, off roader, atheist, humanist, physicist (former) and other stuff.
This blog will allow me to talk to you about all of the stuff I think is cool. This might include cross platform software development, artificial intelligence, cookies, kittens, atheism, learning new things, stuff I make up... All sorts of stuff.
You can learn more about me at www.danzisoft.ca
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